Rochester wedding planning tips for bridesmaids

Rochester Wedding Vendors

The Bridesmaids

These are the girls who have been there, through thick and thin, good times and bad. The ones the Bride will be counting on for support before and on her wedding day. It is a great honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid and one that you should not be take lightly. Before you accept the role of a bridesmaid, you should be honest with yourself, are you able to fulfill the obligations and can you afford it?
Who pays for what is a gray area that should be clarified right from the beginning, allowing for no surprises, this is one area that can cause the most hard feelings, if you value your friendship, be very clear about the expectations from the start!

What the Bride expects from the Bridesmaids

  • The Bridesmaids are a group of the most important women in the Brides life. You do not all have to like each other, but you do have to get along. Leave any pettiness at home, be gracious - even if it kills you.
  • The Bridesmaids will accompany the bride when she goes shopping for her dress, if the wedding party is large, only the Maid of Honor should accompany the Bride, too many opinions can make it difficult for everyone.
  • The Bride and the Bridesmaids will choose the bridesmaids dresses, accessories, shoes and jewelry. As shopping trips go, this may be time consuming and expensive. Who pays for what will be a big question, every situation is unique. Be sure that everyone is aware of the expectations before committing.
  • Hair and make up expenses are usually paid by the Bridesmaids, if the Bride wants everyone to be made up together, then the Bride should cover part or all of the costs.
  • Don’t show up late - for anything.
  • Don’t barrage the bride with tons of last minute questions – if possible direct any questions or concerns to the maid/matron-of-honor or another bridesmaid.
  • They may stand in the receiving line, and should mingle and dance with guests at the reception.
  • Be cautious about drinking alcohol before you perform all of your wedding day duties. Don’t make a spectacle of yourself by drinking too much. This is a wedding/rehearsal dinner/luncheon, not a fraternity bash. Cutting loose at the bachelorette party is just fine!
  • Try not to complain about the style of bridesmaid dress the bride chooses (even if you absolutely hate it). 
  • Help with addressing the invitations.
  • Assist in creating the wedding favors.
  • The Maid of Honor and the Bridesmaids will plan a bridal shower and a bachelorette party.
  • Help to spread the word about where the couple are registered, this is not mentioned in the wedding invitation - ever.
  • Help coordinate the out of town guests, might arrange transportation and accommodation, and prepare a welcome basket for out of towners.
  • Collect gifts and envelopes at the reception and make sure they stay safe.
  • They help direct guests to their seats, making them feel welcome and generally oversee the reception. Making sure to mingle and dance with the guests at the reception.
  • They will need to be trusted friends, and good listeners, carry lots of tissue and do some hand holding.
  • They will make sure the Bride has something to eat, gets plenty of rest, and basically take over where Mom left off.

What the Bridesmaids should expect from the Bride

  • The Bride should make sure the Bridesmaids are kept up-to-date on all pre-wedding and wedding day plans.
  • A checklist of what is required of them is a good idea, and a great way to clarify every ones expectations.
  • Kindness - not only will this be trying on every ones patience, but it will be hard on the purse too. Be your nicest and try to be accommodating!

The Junior Bridesmaid

She is a girl, between ten and fourteen years old. She may be escorted by a groomsman, or not.

  • She (or her parents) purchase her own wedding apparel and shoes.
  • Attends all pre-wedding events.
  • May help with additional duties, such as addressing invitations.
  • Attends the bridal shower(s).
  • May arrive before the ceremony at the bride’s house, for photographs.
  • May stand in the receiving line.

The Flower Girl

She is a young girl, between four and ten.

  • Her parents purchase her wedding apparel, usually a short dress which compliments the wedding party.
  • May or may not attend pre-wedding events.
  • Precedes the bride up the aisle, scattering rose petals.
  • If scattering petals is not allowed, she may carry a basket of flowers.


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