Rochester wedding planning tips for bridesmaids

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Maid (Matron) of Honor

The maid, or matron, of honor should be the woman the bride feels closest to. If she is having a hard time deciding between a sister and a friend, or two friends, she may want to have co-maids of honor to avoid hurt feelings. As maid of honor you should be someone she can rely on during the pre-wedding and wedding day’s events. You should also have the time to devote to helping her with any special tasks or duties.

Your role could be anywhere from extremely involved, accompanying her to Rochester, NY area vendor meetings and helping make planning decisions, to simply being there to emotionally support her, listening and providing her with someone to vent about wedding issues and reassuring her when she gets stressed or anxious.

One of the major roles the maid of honor should play is coordinating with the other bridesmaids. You are, after all, the chair of the bridesmaid committee. Sometimes, members of the bridal party don't know one another or live in different cities or states. In this case, they won't just naturally gather together to discuss and plan events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

Your Maid of Honor Duties


  • Let the bride know how excited you are to be her maid of honor! Tell her you are there to help her in any way she needs.
  • Get in contact with the other bridesmaids for introductions, if necessary, and to let them know you’ll be hosting a shower and all are welcome to help.
  • Coordinate with the bridesmaids. This could include keeping them informed about fittings, pre-wedding parties, or anything else they need to know.
  • Help the bride shop for her dress and the bridesmaid dresses.


  • Find out if you’ll be expected to make a toast. If so, start researching for inspiration.
  • With the help of the bridesmaids, start planning the shower and bachelorette party.
  • Pay for your wedding day attire. This includes your dress, jewelry, and shoes. The bridal party is responsible for purchasing their own attire; occasionally a very generous and thoughtful bride will purchase these items for you, but don't count on it.
  • Get fitted for your dress. You’ll most likely have to pay for all or some of your dress at this time.
  • Find out if the bride has special instructions for shoes, hair, jewelry, etc.


  • Host the wedding shower. Send out invitations 4‐6 weeks prior.
  • Host the bachelorette party. Send out invitations 4‐6 weeks prior.
  • Go to final fitting for your dress. Pay any remaining balance.
  • Purchase additional attire.
  • Assemble emergency kit.
  • Write your toast, if applicable.


  • Be by the bride’s side throughout the day to help in any way she needs. Keep her relaxed, calm, and happy.
  • Get your hair and/or nails done if desired.
  • Make sure the bridesmaids are where they are supposed to be when they’re supposed to be there.
  • Hold the groom’s wedding band during the ceremony.
  • Arrange the bride's train at appropriate point in ceremony, if needed.
  • Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony vows. (Make sure you give it back before she goes back up the aisle!)
  • Sign the marriage license if needed.
  • Help arrange a receiving line, if needed.
  • Dance with the wedding party at the reception.
  • Toast the bride and groom if given an opportunity-this could be at the rehearsal dinner or at the wedding reception.
  • Help where needed at the reception, make sure bride has a chance to eat and drink something.


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